Wicked Beauty
by bloodypleasure
Summary: Dir En Grey. Sometimes the one you want to get close too just seems to be too far away. KXS


**Wicked Beauty**

"Shinya." Kaoru paused to see the blond drummer standing in front of a bridge Kaoru usually passed on his way home. "Shinya?" Shinya continued to stare at the half frozen river before sighing and crouching down, holding onto the stone bridge and hanging his head.

"Go away." Shinya controlled his voice to only hold a slight edge though Kaoru knew there was more. "Please." Shinya shook his head as his voice cracked. Kaoru crouched close to Shinya to hear Shinya's voice and not make his friend speak louder than necessary.

"You hide things from the band, the public, and yourself. Won't you tell me?" Kaoru spoke quietly as people passed by. Shinya kept staring at the lightly snowed ground. Half-shivering Shinya shook his head silently and Kaoru sighed. "Please Shinya. Something is making you like this…you know I'll keep your secrets." Kaoru grabbed Shinya's arm lightly, wanting Shinya to come clean about whatever was bothering him these past weeks.

"I…can't. Not with a clean mind." Shinya stood, Kaoru stood as well, and watching as Shinya drew into the shell he knew so well. "I'm sorry." Kaoru frowned and he nodded, knowing there was no way, at least tonight, he would get the drummer to free his mind of the burden.

"Kyo, how do you get Shinya to talk to you?" Kaoru asked as he set the small folder of lyrics down that Kyo had to memorize. Kyo gave a small humorless laugh as he rifled through the lyrics. "What?" Kaoru asked as Kyo stayed quiet. "How to you get Shinya to talk?"

"Usually with 'hello.'." Kyo answered sarcastically. "Is this all I need for today? I have errands." Kyo stood as Kaoru nodded. He moved to leave before looking up at his taller friend. "He's been hurt before, everyone has." Kyo paused as Kaoru turned to him. "Sometimes you have to make yourself vulnerable to others before you can see what makes them vulnerable." Kyo patted at Kaoru's shoulder before humming a line of lyrics as he headed out.

"Kyo. What's the errand you have to do?" Kaoru asked and Kyo chuckled as he opened the door. Turning he had an impish gleam in his eye.

"Wouldn't you love to know?" Kyo often gave such lines to Kaoru to irritate the guitar player, usually the ploy worked. "Have a good day Leader-sama." Kyo waved briefly before the door shut. Kaoru sighed and laid down on the small grey couch and set an arm over his eyes.

"Kaoru…" Kaoru raised his arm to see Shinya. "You fell asleep." Shinya walked to his part of the studio as Kaoru tried sitting up. Shinya quietly started testing his drums and adjusting them. "You can sleep again if you like." Kaoru stood and stretched. "You haven't slept long if you're wondering." Shinya spoke toward his drums as he tapped lightly on them.

"Shinya, why are you so nervous? Have I done something?" Kaoru asked as he sat on the slight platform that the drums stood on. Shinya shook his head as he thought; not realizing the tapping he had started formed a soft beat almost like a slow heartbeat. Kaoru stood silently as Shinya continued staring down and wrote the beat down as Shinya finally realized the beat. Handing the paper to Shinya Kaoru smiled. "You should keep it." Kaoru walked to his guitar to practice, wanting to do more with the day then to simply sleep. Shinya nodded as he folded the paper and put it safely in his pocket.

"Thank you." Shinya murmured before swallowing. "Kaoru…" Shinya paused looking down and rubbing at his arm, his dark long sleeved shirt rustling slightly. "Do you..." Shinya cleared his throat as Kaoru stopped playing, the last note he played hanging in the air like an empty promise.

"Shinya, you're making yourself antsy." Kaoru chuckled as Shinya shifted.

"Do you want to go out sometime?" Shinya asked. "I-I mean sto the m-movies or…something." Shinya stuttered turning red. Shinya mumbled something Kaoru couldn't hear and he smiled.

"Movies?" Kaoru asked setting his guitar down and walking to Shinya.

"Y-yeah." Shinya didn't look up or stop rubbing his arm. "Yo-you mentioned liking horror movies and there's a couple new ones coming out." Shinya cleared his throat again as Kaoru lightly rested on the rack for the cords near the drums set. "There's one about radiated humans or something."

"Thought you didn't like horror movies?" Kaoru asked and Shinya laughed softly.

"Only because Toshi and Kyo see it as a way to make me miserable. And Die is just horrid." Shinya smiled though his words were of displeasure. Kaoru smiled remembering the many times.

"How about we go to a club then?" Kaoru asked, "Nothing scary in that." Shinya smiled as Kaoru straightened to answer his phone. "Hello?" Kaoru frowned slightly then smiled. "Ah hello." Kaoru paused a moment before digging into his pocket and writing something down. Handing the paper pad to Shinya Kaoru sighed. "No, that's not going to work." Kaoru walked around to sit on the edge of the platform near Shinya. Shinya read the pad and smiled slowly. _'What date? How about tomorrow?' _Shinya nodded as he handed the paper back. "Yes, that will do alright. No in white thank you." Kaoru started writing on the pad as Shinya mindlessly drummed lightly. _'Around 10 or so? Do you want to eat before?'_ Shinya wrote back not wanting to interrupt his conversation. _'Sounds okay, what kind of club were you thinking?_' Kaoru read it then looked at Shinya and shrugged. "Okay…yes I'll send a message when it arrives tonight." Kaoru hung up the phone and turned to Shinya.

"What was that about?" Shinya asked politely, hoping Kaoru wouldn't think he was prying.

"A new outfit I ordered, they were making sure of the order." Kaoru explained as Shinya put away his drumsticks and sat near Kaoru. "What kind of club do you usually go to?" Kaoru asked

"I don't usually go, used to when I was younger," Shinya chuckled and scratched his nose. "But then I started getting mistaken for a woman and just stopped." Shinya smiled as Kaoru laughed.

"Yeah but that won't happen now do you think?" Kaoru asked as he slightly teased Shinya.

"Of course not, I don't go clubbing now." Shinya joked and Kaoru laughed. "What clubs do you go to?" Shinya looked down again and Kaoru smiled.

"Usually Peeches. It's nice and if I get caught there by the press it can go with the bands image as well. It's an 'anything goes' bar." Kaoru explained as Shinya nodded.

"Ah, well let's go to that one." Shinya looked at Kaoru quickly as he nodded.

"So tomorrow night we'll go to Peeches. What about eating?" Kaoru asked as Shinya rocked back as he thought about the question and tried to figure out without asking what 'anything goes' really meant.

"I don't like eating heavy things so how about a snack?" Shinya asked knowing he really wouldn't enjoy the club if he felt heavy from foods. Kaoru thought about it then nodded as he scraped a nail over a mud crusted spot on his jeans.

"Sure how about a sushi bar? There's one near the club." Kaoru suggested. Shinya nodded and Kaoru smiled. "So anything else you want to know or that we forgot?" Kaoru asked.

"Are we going to have to drive?" Shinya asked.

"Yeah but it's within walking distance of my apartment so I'll just pick you up." Kaoru offered as Shinya turned a slight red. "What was that too forward?" Kaoru asked and Shinya shook his head.

"I remember something Kyo said about your driving." Shinya muttered as Kaoru chuckled.

"He says a lot of things about my driving. Mostly that he'll die during me driving." Kaoru commented as Shinya laughed. Kyo did tease Kaoru about his driving a lot to try to get under the leader's skin, usually not succeeding.

"He said that the only thing you'd be more reckless about would be your lovers." Shinya repeated as Kaoru started laughing. "What is it wrong?" Shinya asked with a smile, no longer shy now that he knew Kaoru was relaxed.

"Not even close, I'm finicky then even if I choose someone I like I never do anything first." Kaoru explained before feeling slightly embarrassed. "I'm sure you're very different about that." Shinya laughed and shook his head. "Of course you are!" Kaoru started teasing. "I mean you must get hit on guys so bad! Such a pretty girl must have all the pick of the guys!" Kaoru teased as Shinya laughed.

"Oh nothing compared to your gorgeous face!" Shinya teased reaching up to Kaoru and lightly pinching his cheek. "You must get everyone who looks at you in a tizzy!" Kaoru narrowed his eyes and Shinya pulled his hand away.

"Not everyone gets in a tizzy!" Kaoru defended himself and Shinya laughed.

"They should." Shinya muttered as he stood. "I need to get home. Miyu is going to need to go out soon." Kaoru nodded, slightly shocked by Shinya's comment. "See you." Kaoru waved back as Shinya left the room and slowly got up and prepared to leave.

Shinya sighed as he straightened his clothes, a dark reddish brown shirtless high necked shirt. Shinya made sure the red lacing up the sides looked alright and that his somewhat loose leather pants covered his black boots correctly before carefully thinly lining his eyes in black kohl. Then frowning slightly Shinya tried to stop a cow-lick in the back of his head from sticking up before just fluffing all of his hair to match. Putting his chap-stick in his pocket Shinya looked at the clock nervously. Ten minutes to ten. Shinya hurriedly left his bedroom to his bathroom and quickly checked his teeth, before grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste just in case. Shinya felt ridiculous but he didn't exactly know what to make of his actions. Shinya usually would term his actions under 'puppy-love', but this was _Kaoru_ he was thinking about. Shinya cleaned up his sink and quickly poured more food and water for Miyu. Then Shinya heard his door open as Miyu ran to the door.

"Miyu!" Shinya yelled before yanking the guest into the doorway as he ran ahead of Miyu and shut the door and pressed the both of them against it as Miyu thumped against the back of Shinya's legs. Turning Shinya bent to flick Miyu on the nose. "Stop trying to leave the house. Bad girl!" Shinya sighed and picked Miyu up and turned. Kaoru stood against the door with light pink tinged cheeks. "Sorry."

"No problem." Kaoru cleared his throat before bending and petting Miyu. "Why would you want to leave Shinya?" Kaoru scratched Miyu under her chin as her tail started to wag. "You're not going to find anyone better to live with, fur ball." Kaoru teased her lightly before straightening himself. Kaoru looked Shinya over as Shinya walked to his kitchen and slipped a silver necklace over his shirt and stuck his wallet and keys into his pocket.

"Be a good girl Miyu, dad will be home later." Shinya bent and petted Miyu as she drank from her water. Shinya straightened and smiled lightly at Kaoru as he looked around his apartment. "What?"

"Don't think I've been in your apartment before." Kaoru commented as he looked around. "It's nice. Why don't you have a lot of people visit?" Kaoru asked, remembering how surprised he was when Shinya had handed him the address and a key earlier in the day. "I thought I'd have a heart attack earlier." Shinya laughed softly as he grabbed his coat, Kaoru following behind. It was true that Shinya didn't let a lot or anyone in fact, close to him.

"I was afraid I'd fall asleep and you'd think I was rude." Shinya explained as Kaoru opened the door for him and right in time Shinya bent and caught Miyu turning her to face him. "We talked about this dear…" Kaoru laughed as Shinya lightly tossed Miyu back in the apartment and shut the door before she could try to get out. "Bothersome girl." Shinya muttered.

"Oh you love her." Kaoru chided lightly. Shinya chuckled and agreed.

"True, now how good is this restaurant?" Shinya asked before opening the door to the stair-way and letting Kaoru pass him. Kaoru grinned as Shinya looked him over from behind. Kaoru wore a dark purple button-up that was unbuttoned to the middle of his chest, dark jeans and small silver dangling chains that clinked when he walked. Kaoru wore no make-up that Shinya had noticed and his hair was pressed to a straight silky mass, some part sprayed a dark purple, the rest the normal light brown.

"Well, the food is light, the lightings good and the tables are clean." Kaoru started as Shinya nodded slowly along with his words. "And all the food is traditional." Shinya smiled.

"Sounds wonderful." Shinya spoke softly though the stairwell carried his voice.

"Yeah but sometimes you get some punks." Kaoru commented frowning softly. "Some of them decided to graffiti the outside walls to promote homosexual marriage." Shinya frowned.

"What's wrong with that?" Shinya asked and Kaoru chuckled lightly.

"You're not going to get anyone to see your point of view if you wreck someone's way of life." Kaoru explained himself and Shinya paused before continuing to follow Kaoru down the stairs.

"How would it destroy someone's way of life?" Shinya asked, trying to keep his irritation out of his voice as Kaoru chuckled again.

"It's destructive, not to mention not that appealing. I'd prefer if they chose another way." Kaoru smirked as he shook his head and Shinya stopped.

"That hypocritical of a man who wore _skirts_ to sell albums." Shinya spoke stiffly and Kaoru turned with a frown. "I think I rather stay home." Kaoru frowned deeper.

"What's wrong with disliking graffiti?" Kaoru asked and Shinya stopped walking back to his apartment. "Shinya?"

"So what are you talking about?" Shinya asked wanting to make sure he hadn't messed up.

"I don't like people who graffiti someone's business." Kaoru spoke slowly, confused. "Why did you think I was talking about the topic of the graffiti?" Kaoru asked and Shinya nodded slowly. "Why would I care about that? People's lives are what they are." Kaoru turned and started walking again as he saw Shinya had started walking back down. "How do you feel about it?"

"I would like to marry anyone I fall in love with, regardless of the sex. Why would I take that right from anyone else?" Shinya spoke softly and Kaoru smiled as he walked, Shinya was in fact someone who thought about his opinions. "What's so wrong about loving someone even if you can't reproduce?" Shinya asked and Kaoru chuckled.

"Not a damn thing." Kaoru opened the door to the street and Shinya smiled brightly. Kaoru blinked before smiling back, he hadn't seen the drummer smile like that…though it was a good look to him. "You should smile with your whole face more often." Kaoru commented as Shinya passed by him with a slight blush. Kaoru led Shinya to his car as Shinya tried to think of something to talk about.

"So, you like Miyu or just teasing her?" Shinya asked jokingly and Kaoru chuckled.

"I wondered how long until you asked me that." Kaoru commented humorously as they got in the car and shut the doors. Shinya jumped when Kaoru turned the car on and music blared from the speakers. "Sorry about that." Shinya smiled as Kaoru turned the music down. "I listen to my music loud."

"It's okay. I don't mind, just startled me." Shinya chuckled at himself. "Toshiya's told me I'm too skittish." Shinya chuckled as Kaoru scoffed.

"He's just saying that because he's a jerk." Kaoru laughed as Shinya turned the music up so they could hear it. "What kind of music would you like to listen to?" Kaoru asked as Shinya hummed slightly.

"I don't really mind what's playing. But you can change it if you like." Shinya glanced out the window before turning his gaze to Kaoru. Kaoru smiled before watching the road as well.

"You know, I've always wondered this, why does it take so long for you to warm up to people?" Kaoru asked as he turned left, sneaking a quick glance at Shinya as he did so.

"I was worried that if I gave the band something to dislike about me then I wouldn't stay in the band." Shinya chuckled. "With everyone else, I just don't want to make the mistake of letting someone close then regretting it." Shinya smiled slightly. "Besides I was never one for large groups of anything"

"Are you sure you want to go to a club?" Kaoru teased, though he was partly serious. Looking at Shinya he almost missed when Shinya nodded.

"Everyone has to leave their shell at some point." Shinya smiled. "I just have the luxury of being able to go back in if I wanted to." Kaoru smirked as traffic lessened and he sped up slightly.

"So, before you even enter the restaurant, I'll pay." Kaoru laughed as Shinya scoffed. "Seriously I don't mind. If it helps you can buy me a drink." Shinya agreed as he laughed, liking how easily he could relax in Kaoru's presence. "Though, if you get too drunk I'm just going to make you crash on my couch, since there's no practice tomorrow."

"Always so diligent Mr. Leader-sama." Shinya teased and Kaoru smiled. "Okay, if you're sure." Kaoru nodded as he parked in front of his apartment. "Lead the way." Shinya joked as they got out. Kaoru laughed and pointed down the street and fell into step with Shinya.

"Shinya, you leave someone staring at you." Kaoru whispered as Shinya turned red.

"I don't want to know." Shinya whispered back making Kaoru burst into a laugh. "Seriously, just tell me it's a she and I'll be fine, don't tell me anymore." Shinya laughed as Kaoru rubbed his chin. "Not a word more." Kaoru laughed as he snuck a look around Shinya's shoulder.

"You really want to know?" Kaoru asked as Shinya laughed. Shinya seemed to think about it then turned. Shinya quickly turned back as his face flushed a scarlet red. "What?"

"It makes me uncomfortable." Shinya turned red as the man walked up to the table.

"Hey, this might seem forward but are you dating this girl?" the man asked Kaoru making Shinya turn redder. Shinya sent Kaoru a half desperate look. Kaoru wiped his mouth with a napkin and set in his plate and stood paying the bill without saying a word. "Well, are you?"

"Come on love, we'll miss the movie." Kaoru helped Shinya out of the seat like he was a girl. Then turning to the man Kaoru frowned. "Next time, ask the _girl_, jerk." Shinya waited till they left the building to sigh in relief.

"Thank you." Shinya sighed taking his arm from Kaoru before Kaoru grabbed it again with a smile. "What are you doing?!" Shinya asked as Kaoru started twirling them around.

"Such a pretty girl! I told you!" Kaoru teased making Shinya smile.

"Oh!" Shinya tugged away from Kaoru with a sigh. "Why aren't you this relaxed in practice? It would make the whole experience that less stressful if I mess-up." Shinya remarked. Kaoru chuckled.

"You don't really mess up though." Kaoru pointed out a turn and Shinya nodded. "And you always beat yourself up sooner than I can. It's Die and Toshiya I'm worried about."

"They wouldn't take you seriously." Shinya conceded as they walked up to the club and flashed their ID's to get in. the bouncer seemed not to entirely care, though he commented on Kaoru's picture. Walking in Shinya could feel his throat close. His parents were conservative, strict and felt that abandon of the senses were something like evil. Shinya agreed with himself that this club would be their hell. The strobe light flashed so it was hard to get many glimpses of anything and Kaoru, being a veteran patron, grabbed Shinya by the shoulders and led him to an empty booth.

"The strobe is for the rave music, should be over in five minutes!" Kaoru had to shout over the loud pumping baseline music. Shinya nodded as he looked around, feeling more at ease when he noticed no one was really paying attention to them. Leaning back Shinya started enjoying the music before the strobe slowed down to a more throbbing then seizure inducing flashing. Shinya grinned, enjoying this much more, the music started thumping with the strobe as it flashed different colors and the more brightly colored people started cheering.

"It's like going to someone else's live!" Shinya yelled at Kaoru who nodded, that was the reason in fact that Kaoru liked going. "Do you ever dance?" Shinya asked and Kaoru shrugged.

"Depends on the music!" Kaoru replied as a young looking girl hopped nearby with a tray full of half-filled thin vial-like glasses. "Try one! They're not bad for you!" Kaoru pointed and Shinya made his way through the active crowd to grab two and went back to the booth. "They're the club drinks!" Kaoru explained.

"What does that mean?" Shinya asked and Kaoru pointed at Shinya and motioned for him to watch him. Kaoru closed his mouth completely over the opening of the glass and Shinya followed suit. Kaoru slammed his head back and coughed slightly as the liquid rushed down his throat. Shinya paused for a moment. Kaoru laughed and motioned for him to follow. Shinya obeyed and slammed the drink, tasting a spiky kind of peach before a slow burn up his throat. Shinya's eye watered as he coughed.

"Like it?" Kaoru asked. "It's really strong but it's good and you can have as many as you want without paying. The best drink in the house!" Kaoru shouted. Shinya leaned closer as the music hit a loud part and Kaoru leaned closer Shinya's ears. "Did you want to dance?" Kaoru asked as the drink started buzzing through his veins. Shinya shook his head.

"Drinking game!" Shinya yelled and Kaoru smiled. "Tradition!" Kaoru laughed, Die had started the tradition. Naturally. Shinya smoothly lifted an entire tray of drinks from a passing girl, who just laughed, slightly intoxicated herself. "I'll win!" Kaoru smiled as Shinya downed another drink like Kaoru showed him and Kaoru stopped Shinya and divided the drinks.

"You wish." Kaoru slammed a drink as Shinya burped slightly after drinking a third. As they drank, Kaoru could see a small glaze going over Shinya's eyes at one point as the music switched to a slow song came on and Shinya took a long breath then continued and Kaoru ignored it. As soon as Shinya was about to drink his seventh drink Kaoru grabbed his hand as a faster song switched on. "Dance!" Kaoru half- dragged Shinya out, ignoring others Kaoru started trying to get a newly shy Shinya to dance. The song had thumping bass lines that the strobe blinked to and Kaoru grinned as the six drinks kicked in and Shinya started laughing at Kaoru's ridiculous dancing. Shinya jumped with the crowd as Kaoru started dancing seriously and kept his head bent as Shinya's hips started swinging intoxicatingly to the beat. Kaoru blinked as Shinya dropped his shyness and forgot the crowd, Kaoru included as the music pumped the beats into his chest and through his feet through sheer pressure of sound. Kaoru stopped dancing to watch Shinya as a song that they partly recognized helped Shinya let lose. The beat was slower and Shinya moved sinuously as Kyo during a live. Shinya laughed as he raised his arms to pull Kaoru to dance with him. Kaoru gulped as his head beat in time with his loud heartbeat and Shinya's drunken bright smile.

"Come on you wanted to dance!" Shinya shouted and Kaoru smiled, ridding himself of everything but the music and Shinya Kaoru began enjoying dancing in public, where otherwise without the drinks and Shinya's prompting. He would have let Shinya dance and just stand there watching. Without feeling strange Shinya took the role of dancing as a woman without realizing it as Kaoru accommodated.

"Ahhh. Kaoru it hurts!" Shinya groaned as he tossed his head on the pillow. Kaoru chuckled before groaning himself. "Stop Kaoru it hurts!" Shinya grumbled grabbing Kaoru's forearms. "If you love me at all you'll stop it." Kaoru smirked at Shinya before getting up and closing the curtains in the room, bathing the room in the dark. "Ah I love you." Shinya thanked Kaoru as he laughed again.

"You're just drunk. You're tossing words around." Kaoru commented and Shinya turned to him on the bed as he turned a low light on. Kaoru almost jumped at the somber look in Shinya's eyes.

"I've _never_ been that drunk." Shinya stared at Kaoru before turning on his side. "What did you need my help with tomorrow?" Shinya asked as Kaoru swallowed from the intense feeling that if he didn't say exactly the right thing he might lose something he didn't know he was looking for.

"I'm not going to talk about it when you need rest Shin." Kaoru smiled as Shinya nodded and drew under the covers. "Good night Shinya." Kaoru closed the door after hearing Shinya's soft good night and walked to his room, doing what needed done before he went to bed. Kaoru paused before he climbed into bed and rubbed at his face harshly. Too much and not enough information was in his head.

Shinya slowly woke facing the window. The sun made the curtains seem to glow. Shinya turned his head to his pillow and took a breath in. As he smelled Kaoru he wondered how long he could keep this up now that he wasn't pushing everything away. Loving someone who had no interest in you was difficult. But it would be worse if he told Kaoru his feelings and the band member that Shinya held in such high esteem turned his back on him…Shinya could feel a cold chill from the mere thought.

"Shinya?" Shinya jumped as he heard a low raspy voice behind him. "Are you having another bad dream?" Kaoru lifted on one arm and stared at the startled drummer with sleep hazed eyes. "You were muttering." Kaoru yawned slightly before standing. Wondrously Kaoru drew a thicker pair of curtains across dimming the room farther. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather sleep in." Kaoru turned to Shinya and sighed. Clad in an ivory purple tank and dark purple pajama pants Kaoru had fully dressed down sometime during the night. Shinya had dressed himself in the pajama's Kaoru had provided considering they were of the near same height. Shinya watched as Kaoru slipped back into bed and yawned, turning away from Shinya and going back to bed. Shinya laid down, shifting till he was comfortable and slept as well.

Shinya stepped into the shower with a sigh, the hot water wound around his body. Dipping his head into the spray of water Shinya closed his eyes as the water beat on his face. Shinya stretched slightly as the water smoothed away the small sore aches he always had in the morning. Though the hot water made Shinya sleepy again he couldn't bear to turn it to cold so soon. The door to the bathroom opened and Shinya tensed as a small cough was heard.

"I'm just getting ready. Do you mind?" Shinya relaxed slightly as he realized it was Kaoru.

"No I don't…um." Shinya paused as Kaoru entered and turned to the shower and Shinya wondered if the cloudy glass actually hid his body. Slowly washing himself Shinya sighed slightly. "Would you mind if before we started I go home…" Shinya couldn't see Kaoru's reaction as Kaoru turned to look in the cupboard and it made him jittery. "Miyu needs taken care of." Shinya could hear a soft laugh and Shinya shifted uneasily.

"Alright. How is she by the way, she looks healthy." Kaoru asked as he started washing his face.

"Yeah she got a little sick a month ago but she's all fine." Shinya smiled slightly.

"So have you ever had her meet anybody? You know, for puppies?" Kaoru asked. Shinya sighed as he lifted a leg to wash. "What? She sterile or something?"

"No but anytime she gets around new dogs she won't leave my side. Too shy." Kaoru chuckled.

"So she's like the person she loves." Kaoru commented earning a sarcastic chuckle from Shinya.

"You know it's really strange though. She's okay near you in the house. She hates people crowding her territory." Shinya stared at the showerhead as he thought. "Well anyway, I'm not going to try to breed her yet." Shinya jumped as he looked over and saw Kaoru watching him, the shower doors only reached the middle of his chest. The entire bathroom floor was tiled and Shinya could see a small stream running to the drain in the floor.

"Well, I'm good at calming skittish things, animals or otherwise." Kaoru had a small gleam in his eyes as Shinya turned a little red and from more than the hot water.

"Are you calling me skittish?" Shinya asked, trying to see if it was joke. Kaoru walked closer and reached in the shower, ignoring Shinya jumping as he grabbed a dark red bottle in front of Shinya. Shinya couldn't stop his heartbeat from going fast as Kaoru simultaneously reached for his razor behind Shinya. "What are you doing?" Kaoru chuckled as he straightened.

"Why are you so jumpy today, we've both seen each other naked before during tours." Shinya nodded to that fact. "Or is it different now for you?" Kaoru asked as he turned back to the mirror. Shinya flushed darker as he realized if Kaoru looked at him, even the cloudy glass couldn't hide his new problem. Shinya quickly turned the water cold and stood directly under it shivering. "You're going to get a cold." Kaoru commented as a rush of cold air brushed him from the shower.

"I-it's good f-for your hair. Makes i-it shiny." Shinya shivered before Kaoru turned and moved the water back to the warmer side of things.

"Shinya. _One_, I already saw. Two, I don't care which way you go and you _know_ that. Three…you're so pale you're purple when you're cold." Shinya was a bright red by the time Kaoru finished talking and Kaoru chuckled. "Besides, someone who is as good looking as you thinking I'm attractive enough for that is a compliment I think." Kaoru tastefully ignored Shinya as he embarrassedly walked out of the shower and grabbed the towel and wrapped himself.

"So, you don't mind?" Shinya asked. Kaoru laughed.

"It's not like you're in love with me. Kami Shinya, I'm not that old-fashioned." Kaoru commented and although he felt a hair above complete helplessness Shinya laughed.

"I'm not that stupid come on." Shinya grinned and Kaoru saw the same look as the bar but brushed it off. "So um, we forgot to grab any clothes for me." Shinya commented and Kaoru sighed slightly as he thought. The dull scraping sound of his razor filled the silence and Shinya took a small towel and dried his hair, bending to wipe the floor where it was wet. Kaoru looked in the mirror back at Shinya who had the slightly cute habit of wrapping the towel around him like a woman. The bottom of the towel raised and showed off Shinya's thighs and as Shinya reached farther it moved ever so higher up.

"Damn!" Kaoru shouted starling Shinya as Kaoru quickly grabbed a towel and held it to his jaw. "Relax, it's just a nick." Shinya sighed and nodded.

"You alright?" Shinya asked and Kaoru nodded. "Dull razor?" Kaoru nodded again, not wanting to tell the drummer that he had been eyeing Shinya. Straight or not Kaoru didn't want to push the friendship any farther in a new friendship.

"Yes?" Kaoru sighed; his phone going off during practice was annoying at best. "Mother?" Kaoru ignored Toshiya's barely subdued snort of laugher as Die chuckled. "What are you doing calling me?" Kaoru asked, it had been years without any word from his mother, now calling out of the blue. "Yes I'm single…" Toshiya's snort of laughter was louder though it quieted when Shinya pelted a stick in his direction. Kaoru's face went from surprised to angry and clouded. "No mother. Good bye." Kaoru closed the phone harshly, tossing it on his music stand. Kyo hummed slightly.

"Alright, it's not like we're being paid to stand around on stage. Shinya count us off. Let's get going." Kyo clapped his hands loudly as if to disperse the tense air in the room.

"Shinya?" Toshiya edged toward the drummer. "I got a question." Shinya straightened from straightening the drums that Die had moved across the room. "Uh, can you and Kaoru come to a club with Kyo and me?" Shinya frowned about to ask why when Toshiya looked around and moved closer. "I'm trying to get Kyo to like me. I don't know if he's gay or not though." Shinya nodded.

"Give me a moment." Shinya whispered. Toshiya nodded as Shinya approached Kaoru. "Kaoru?" Shinya tapped Kaoru's arm lightly as he went over files.

"Yeah Shin?" Kaoru spoke just as soft as Shinya, making it hard for those around them to hear as he lowered the papers. "What do you need?"

"Do you feel like going out?" Shinya asked and noticed Kaoru's face turn slightly pink. "I mean to a club." Shinya clarified and Kaoru coughed sheepishly. "With Kyo and Toshiya." Kaoru paused before smiling.

"Sure but no drinking games, you might get thought a girl with how you act drunk." Kaoru joked and Shinya blushed. Kaoru nudged Shinya with his arm.

"Like I'd trust anyone else to get drunk near. Especially Kyo." Shinya muttered and Kaoru smirked. "Though Toshiya would just tease." Kaoru chuckled. "He's planning on making a move on Kyo." Shinya confessed. "He's been practicing how. I've helped."

"Sure. If Toshi's put that much effort into it." Kaoru conceded.

"Shinya." Toshi whistled as the group met at Toshi's place. "I have not seen _you_ like _that_ in quite a _while_." Toshi looked the drummer over appreciatively. "Thanks for doing this for me. But I can I count on you to help if I lose my nerve?"

"Mine and Kaoru, he's agreed to help." Shinya pointed to Kaoru. Toshiya sighed.

"Thank you; you're a very good friend. I owe you." Toshiya smiled as Shinya laughed. "Now it's unusual kind of club but it's full of music that's easy to dance to and drinks that are worth the price." Toshiya warned, the mention of drinks having Kyo interested. Shinya sighed and smoothed out his outfit, it had been a long time since he cross-dressed, but Toshiya needed his help. And Shinya couldn't give the needed help in his usual clothes. Kaoru, as they walked the short distance to the club eyed Shinya. Shinya had stockings with a laced black top and garters that peeked through anytime the wind gusted. Shinya eventually set a hand against his rear to stop partly flashing those behind him. Namely Kaoru and Kyo.

"I can't believe Toshiya and Shinya would agree to cross-dress so we don't have to pay." Kyo smirked and pushed Kaoru slightly. "So what's up with you and Shinya? I mean hell…" Kyo looked at the black cotton and black lace and a black shirt that Kyo had seen worn less well on other women in different colors. "You couldn't get a girl that looks that good."

"Same with Toshiya." Kaoru replied seeing a chance to help Toshiya. "He looks just as good as Shinya. Though Toshi's always had the mischievous quality that Shinya doesn't have." Kaoru unknowingly tilted his head slightly as Kyo considered it.

"True but Toshiya's straight and Shinya's not." Kyo commented. "Makes him rather untouchable." Kyo sniffed as Toshiya looked back at the two who had fallen behind and motioned then to move faster.

"Toshiya's not straight, I don't know if he's gay but he's not completely straight." Kaoru paused and frowned. "Shinya's gay?" Kyo laughed looking at the taller man.

"You didn't know?" Kyo smirked. "Or couldn't tell?" Kaoru frowned and sighed.

"To be honest a-" Kaoru stopped as Toshiya hollered. Shinya instead walked back the distance between them and motioned for the two to follow him,

Shinya nodded to the house music as Kyo and Toshiya moved to dance. Kaoru had gone to the bar to get another drink.

"Shinya!" Toshiya and Kyo slid into the booth. Toshiya flipped a lock of hair out of his eyes as Kyo smiled. "We got a bet-" Toshiya before Kyo stopped him.

"Wait till Kaoru gets back." The three then sat in silence as Kaoru made his way back from the bar with a beer for himself and a drink for Shinya. Kyo nodded then ran quickly and expertly came back four minutes later with a tray full of ten shots and a cup full of lime wedges for him and Toshiya. Toshiya chuckled as Kaoru rolled his eyes.

"Now?" Toshiya asked impatiently. Kyo downed a shot, coughed slightly and nodded as he put salt on his wrist. "Kyo bet me that Shinya couldn't dance. Of course we need Shinya to prove me right." Toshiya leaned back as Shinya chuckled nervously.

"What am I proving?" Shinya asked as Kaoru chuckled.

"That you can't dance." Kyo supplied.

"That you can." Toshiya noticed Shinya's reluctance. "The winner gets a kiss from whoever they like." Toshiya supplied and Shinya sighed as Kaoru laughed.

"Oh harsh. Kyo pucker up." Kaoru muttered below his breath. Shinya leaned across the table and downed a shot in front of Toshiya as Kaoru grabbed his arm. "What are you doing? You get drunk easily!" Kaoru asked and Shinya nodded as heavy throbbing music came on.

"I'm going to dance, with Toshi because he's a jerk." Shinya muttered loudly. Toshiya whooped as Kyo raised his brow as he took another shot.

"Hey Kao, is he actually any good?" Kyo asked, slightly nervous. Kaoru shrugged.

"The only time I've seen him dance is when we both got hammered and I don't really remember much." Kaoru clarified. "This should be interesting." Kyo nodded as Toshiya stopped Shinya on the edge of the dance floor closest to the other two. Shinya paused for a moment as the music played to find a steady beat. Toshiya laughed before running back and grabbing a shot.

"He thinks too much!" Toshiya yelled. Shinya downed the shot and as Toshiya placed the glass on a table nearby that was empty and started moving slowly. His black skirt lifted slightly as people moved past. Shinya closed his eyes like he sometimes did in a live when he was having a hard time losing himself in the music. Toshiya nodded along with the music and without Shinya noticing moved deeper into the dancers that had started something like a mosh-pit. Shinya started slow rolls with his hips and Kaoru smirked slightly as he heard Kyo swear as Shinya lost his nerves with the influence of drink. The two watched Shinya dance, though Kyo less interested then Kaoru. But both frowned as the music turned almost sexual in nature as the music that flooded the club now had soft moans mixed in. Kyo shrugged his shoulders and went back to enjoying the feel of the club. Kaoru on the other-hand watched as a man edged toward Shinya, who was dancing as if the music had took a human form. Kaoru had appreciated Shinya's untapped skill until he noticed the looks the man gave. Kaoru finished his beer and stood, making a bee-line for Shinya as Toshiya made his way back to the table. "You owe me." Toshiya joked, poking Kyo with a finger. Kaoru made his way to dance cautiously near Shinya.

"Hey Shin." Kaoru tapped at Shinya fingers, swallowing slightly when Shinya slowly opened his eyes, his eyes slightly glazed though not enough for Kaoru to call him drunk. "You got a guy making goo-goo eyes at you." Kaoru danced closer to Shinya as Shinya motioned him closer. Shinya grabbed Kaoru's shoulders and pulled him to less than a foot away. Placing his forearms over Kaoru's shoulders Shinya continued to dance. "What are you doing?"

"Well he's not going to make a move if he thinks I'm taken." Shinya mumbled, and Kaoru nodded. "Besides I'm starting to like the music and I don't want to stop dancing."

"Shinya!" Toshiya hollered as the music died down slightly. Shinya smirked as Kyo chuckled. Having gotten tired dancing Shinya had made his way back to the table to find the bassist and vocalist swapping spit. "I do not." Toshiya muttered as it was Kaoru who chuckled.

"Toshi! I'm appalled! I thought the whole point of us going was to hook you two up easier." Toshiya turned red as Kyo laughed.

"Ah, I feel special." Kyo commented as Shinya chuckled slightly. "Hey Shinya, why are you so at ease now?" Kyo asked pointing rudely at Shinya. "Do I have to spike your water?" Kyo's voice had a tell-tale slur to it that had all at the table, excluding Kyo grinning. The vocalist sighed slightly. "Alright, when things start going over my head I know I've had too many." Kyo patted the table as he started to slide out. Toshiya grabbed his arm.

"You're not driving." Toshiya waved a hand in front of his nose slightly. "You smelly drunk. I'll drive you home." Kyo frowned as he subtly sniffed himself.

"You drank too." Kyo pointed out making Kaoru have to suppress a giggle.

"Guys, we walked here. Toshiya's apartment is only two miles away. You drunks can get there." Kaoru commented as Shinya sniggered.

"Kyo why don't you argue with Toshiya as you two walk to his place?" Shinya suggested and the two agreed on that and left the table bickering. Kaoru watched them leave before turning to the blond. "What?" Shinya asked before loud harsh punk gothic music started playing to appease the crowd. "Let's go somewhere quieter." Shinya scooted behind Kaoru as they left the booth and winded through the crowd to leave. The night air felt at least twenty degrees cooler without stranger's body heat, and infinitely fresher without their cologne.

"How about that restaurant up there?" Kaoru asked before Shinya started laughing.

"That's not a restaurant, that's a clothing store. God you're drunk." Shinya commented before Kaoru sighed. Shinya glanced at Kaoru and squinted his eyes slightly. "No…wait you're right." Shinya rubbed at his face. "God I'm drunk." Kaoru laughed softly as Shinya followed him. "How many drinks did you have Kao?" Shinya asked and Kaoru raised an eyebrow at the nickname. "If I said something wrong, it's not going to get better than that."

"Oh really now? I only had two drinks, no more than four." Kaoru answered straightening Shinya upright as the drummer stumbled. Shinya muttered thanks as the entered the shop. "Oh it's a coffee shop." Kaoru commented and Shinya slumped.

"Why can't you be drunk too?" Shinya mumbled as Kaoru sat them down and ordered for the drummer. Chuckling Kaoru smiled at the waitress as she complimented Shinya, though she was unaware that 'she' was a he.

"Do you regularly get mixed up with the wrong sex?" Kaoru asked as Shinya rubbed his forehead as he started to sober and a headache began to form.

"More often then I'd like. Though, I'm starting to believe that it's a blessing." Kaoru lifted his brow. "Girl's bathrooms typically have more stalls." Shinya clarified as he mumbled into silence as he yawned slightly; covering his mouth delicately the waitress walked to the table and set the drinks down as Shinya blinked slightly sleepily. Then in the lowest voice he could manage, "Hey baby, what's your sign?" The waitress shouted in surprise before staring at Shinya. She looked him over then the surprise left her face. She leaned on her forearms on the table with a slow smile on her face.

"Available, what's yours sexy?" she purred out and Shinya flushed from shock and embarrassment. Kaoru started laughing before lightly tapping the lady's arm.

"Taken." Kaoru stated. "And drunk." The girl giggled.

"Oh then I've got just the thing dear." She walked away after winking again at Shinya who kept his face stoic even if it was red. Then when she left eyesight he looked wide eyed at Kaoru. Kaoru on the other hand was overly interested in his drink. Shinya shook his head and sighed setting his head down as Kaoru glanced at his head. "Here you go." The waitress set the drink down as the two jumped. Kaoru thanked her as she left and Shinya stared at the maroon colored drink.

"That might kill me." Shinya muttered and Kaoru chuckled. "Seriously." Kaoru leaned forward and took a drink of the liquid.

"It won't kill you." Kaoru commented as he set the glass down, closer to Shinya. "But it tastes bad so drink it all at once." Shinya sighed slightly dramatically and drained the glass coughing slightly. Shinya stared at Kaoru balefully.

"That tasted horrible." Shinya burped slightly wincing as Kaoru chuckled.

"Oh it can't be that bad." Kaoru commented. Shinya glared at him.

"You taste it then, I can't get it off my tongue." Shinya muttered. "What is it anyway?" Kaoru chuckled slightly Shinya paused starting at Kaoru. "Why did you say I was taken? It makes people assume were together." Shinya's voice had started to lose the slight drunken slur. Kaoru smirked before he finished his drink. "It's very misleading, especially to a drunk mind that's sobering up with a headache." Kaoru paused as he moved to get up and glanced at Shinya before deciding with slight denial that it must have been the drink.

"I'm guessing the drink is to sober you up. I did taste it and I'm not meaning to give anyone the wrong idea." Kaoru stood as Shinya slid out of the booth.

"Ah." That was all Shinya replied the entire way home. Kaoru felt a feeling of dread as Shinya left the car to go into his apartment without waving like usual. Hoping to hear some opinion other than his own Kaoru called Die. Knowing Die would pick up Kaoru simply waited and on the fifth ring he heard a groggy greeting.

"How do I know if I made the _wrong_ move with Shinya?" Kaoru asked and he heard a soft groan. "Please, it's _incredibly_ hard to read his emotions." Die groaned again softly though Kaoru knew it was because he was sitting up.

"Well what happened?" Die's sleep hoarsened voice seemed to condemn Kaoru.

"Well as you know we went to the club with Toshiya and Kyo." Kaoru started.

"Yeah? I forgot to ask if that went to plan." Die seemed to be waking up slowly.

"He played right into our hands. And Shinya is a damn good dancer." Kaoru chuckled slightly. "And then some man was going to hit on Shinya pretty bad so I started to dance with Shinya." Die made a soft hissing noise. "What?" Kaoru asked wondering if he had screwed up so early. "Was that what I did wrong?" Kaoru bit at his lip in nerves, deciding to start driving away from in front of Shinya's apartment. Die gave a soft considering sound.

"Well what did Shinya do?" Die asked and Kaoru could feel his face heat up.

"He just started dancing with me." Kaoru tried to downplay how unknowingly sexual Shinya could be. Die gave a small humorless laugh.

"Well how _long_ were you two dancing and how much did he drink?" Die asked and Kaoru frowned slightly, they had been dancing for a while and Shinya had drunk enough to get plastered. Kaoru gave a slight cough. "Thought so."

"Well after that we just went to a restaurant because the club was too loud and Shinya got hit on by the waitress and then before she gave him a drink to sober up he hit on her." Die gave a laugh and Kaoru got the slight impression that Die was enjoying Kaoru's inability to know what to do. "And so I told her he was taken and she left and Shinya said I was giving people the wrong idea. Though he said it strangely, that I was giving a drunk with a headache the wrong idea."

"Well Kaoru, you're completely fucked." Die's voice was blunt and unforgiving. "Because you probably replied honestly and said something along the lines of not wanting to give a wrong idea." Kaoru sighed and as he stopped at a red light he thumped his head on the steering wheel. Die gave a slow chuckle at Kaoru's groan of confusion.

"What the hell? Why was that wrong?" Kaoru asked prompting more laughter from Die. "And how do you know so much about Shinya anyway?" Kaoru asked bitterly.

"Because if I'm to properly tease him I have to know him to some point. Plus think about this Kao." Kaoru blushed slightly remembering when Shinya had called him that without thinking. "Why would Shinya, who is in fact, _completely_ happy just being an observer to people, want to know you better?" Die asked the question carefully as if to prove a point to an impaired mind. "Especially when Shinya already knows the band so well?"

"He said he wanted to get out of his shell." Kaoru muttered, unwilling to think someone as seemingly innocent and proper as Shinya would trick him.

"He's a drummer for a massively popular rock band." Die commented and Kaoru thought before slamming shut his phone and quickly whipping into the rarely used sections of the cities. Driving quickly back to Shinya's apartment, happy that incredibly, that he hadn't drove far away in the first place. The first time heavy traffic worked in his favor. Driving to Shinya's place and quickly running up the steps before pounding on the door four times, pressing his hands on the door jambs Kaoru fought to catch his breath before thinking the walks up and down the stairs must be what kept Shinya so remarkably slim all these years. The door opened as Kaoru rested a hand against it and Shinya barely caught him with surprised eyes. Kaoru still was slightly out of breath and Shinya raised an eyebrow.

"You need to stop smoking." Shinya commented as Shinya himself treated his body like something he didn't want to destroy on a whim. Kaoru waved his hand at Shinya as he resumed leaning on the door post.

"Yeah I know. Cancer sticks and an early grave." Kaoru earned a small chuckle from Shinya. "I know you're angry with me so don't slam the door on me." Shinya raised his shoulders in a dismissive gesture; Kaoru would have laughed had he not just regained proper breathing. "I didn't know you liked me, and I'm bad at picking up hints on that kind of things." Kaoru straightened and ran his hands nervously through his hair. "At least I _think_ you like me."

"Of course I like you, we're good friends." Shinya commented still feeling slightly stung. Kaoru sighed, already ready to run from nerves.

"I didn't, wait was this all a joke?" Kaoru asked and Shinya sighed and moved to clear the doorway. Opening the door further Shinya motioned Kaoru inside.

"It's not a joke." Shinya finally spoke as he closed the door and walked back to his kitchen, a kettle was brewing a hot drink and Shinya sat in his previously occupied chair and marked his page in the book he was reading to pass time waiting for the kettle to finish.

"So you like me?" Kaoru asked almost hesitantly.

"No." Shinya swiped his right hand slowly over the book as he spoke. "I thought this was pretty clear." Shinya watched Kaoru's face darken with a small glimmer of satisfaction. "I do love you though." Shinya added as he stood for the kettle kissing Kaoru's cheek lightly. Not needing to see Kaoru to know he lit up as Kaoru understood. "We can work on the like later."


End file.
